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[00:00:00] Jasper: They just know that you're gonna rock it better than they will.

[00:00:01] Dey: Yeah exactly! It's like, I'm sorry Cheryl but I'm gonna rock that floral blouse better than you so fork it over you know? As well as your like, you know Marshall's gift card or whatever you have. I love Marshalls but its a problem because I spend too much there.

[00:00:14] Jasper: I'm Jasper Lior and this is Gender Euphoria: the podcast where we break down what gender euphoria is and talk about the beautiful, wonderful, incredible parts of trans identity. Today I'm with Dey St. Pierre, Dey is a Sims mansion connoisseur, a sparkling beverage enthusiast and an aspiring fifties housewife.

[00:00:37] Dey: Hello

[00:00:38] Jasper: Thank you for joining me Dey.

[00:00:39] Dey: Yes, of course! Oh my gosh this is so exciting. I love ahh!

[00:00:44] Jasper: I'm so excited to hear all your beautiful thoughts about

[00:00:47] Dey: Yeah

[00:00:48] Jasper: Your beautiful gender. What does gender euphoria mean to you?

[00:00:53] Dey: I really equate gender euphoria with my style like, fashion in the sense of like you know, today I'm going to wake up and be a fifties housewife, and then the next day I'm gonna be Natasha Lyonne in Russian Doll, like today. Um I think that there's a lot of like, beauty and like how like, influential on the outside you can look and how that like really like means to

[00:01:19] Jasper: like

[00:01:20] Dey: and like, you know, it's just like if I feel like this and then I'm able to portray it better outside of me, then it feels a lot realer. Realer?

[00:01:31] Jasper: Yeah it feels like euphoric, kind of.

[00:01:35] Dey: Yeah, yeah I definitely would say it's euphoric. I feel like cuz for a while I was always, you know, the terrible kid in class who wore the Martha's Vineyard Vines or whatever and I would like have like terrible taste like that. And then as, but then like as I grew out of that I was like, Oh I can like wear blouse or something and there's no like, there's such a construct around gender and especially in small town Massachusetts, it's just kind of like you are this box and that is the only thing you can be but realizing that there's so much more to it than you can be like this beautiful like floral wearing, you know, like floppy sleeves, bell sleeves. Oh my god I love sleeves. I always wanted big sleeves but then I always always have the sweatshirts and I'd stretch out the sleeves like crazy to make sort of like bell sleeves, but then it just looked like you took a Nike sweatshirt and you stretch out the sleeves like crazy.

[00:02:26] Jasper: But like in your mind, you were feeling your bell sleeves.

[00:02:29] Dey: I was bell sleeves, I was like beauty, I was like I'm Beauty and the Beast but sans the beast, just beauty.

[00:02:35] Jasper: Yeah would you say that you felt gender euphoria growing up?

[00:02:39] Dey: Yeah no I wouldn't, growing up I wouldn't say as much. I think that there was a real turning point in 2019 when I moved out of my parents' house and I was just kind of like, hmm I don't want to be that anymore and it was kind of like, that was also the same time, around that time that I changed my like, pronouns to from he/him to they/them. And I, I tested it out for, my trial period with my pronouns was like three days. And I was like, that feels amazing, like I want this to be a standard. I don't want people to be like, Oh, hey, how's he doing? I want them go, hey how are they doing? It just felt so much more fitting and like it, it felt like appropriate for me, you know? And I felt like it was like, this is who I am. And then fast forward, another year, and you have me, like, I, I didn't felt like, feel like my deadname really like essenced who I was. And there was a lot of like, it was kinda like a haunted forest of like ooh, that's bad I don't just don't want that. And so like kinda like it was kinda like turning the page on it. And so growing up I really don't think that there was any, I think that there's a lot more dysphoria than, like, there was like euphoria you know?

[00:03:50] Jasper: What does gender euphoria feel like?

[00:03:53] Dey: I think that gender euphoria for me, it feels kind of, of, it feels really it's like sweet and smooth and it like, I don't know, I feel like we're describing a drink. But like it goes it goes like so like deep into like who you are and like, what you're like doing it just like, it's like adding on like a hundred, I'm thinking of like D&D, for some reason. It adds on a hundred attack points to whatever bad you're dealing with in that day and so it's like kind of realizing like, you know, oh, this doesn't always have to be bad, you know? It's like there's also some good times there too, to have.

[00:04:30] Jasper: Totally, I love that analogy. Adding like plus a hundred gender to just like you strong in the-

[00:04:37] Dey: It's like like a potion. Poof, you get to be gender euphoric now.

[00:04:42] Jasper: Oh I really love that.

[00:04:44] Dey: Yeah I gotta sell those potions now. They're all in my closet.

[00:04:48] Jasper: Oh my God we should definitely make a potion called Gender Euphoria!

[00:04:50] Dey: Yes! Oh my God. That'd be amazing.

[00:04:53] Jasper: Visit

[00:04:55] Dey: Yes a hundred percent!

[00:04:57] Jasper: What's a moment of gender euphoria that stands out in your life?

[00:05:02] Dey: Yeah, so I remember I was talking to someone on Boyleston Street one time, when I lived in Boston for going to school and I was wearing this really nice floral shirt and like these really great like skinny jeans and my first pair of healed boots. And I like, I love like healed boots now like you, I don't know, if you are listening, you can't see but I'm wearing my big platform Doc Martins and I love the heels. Like they're just my favorite thing. And so like I was wearing all these like beautiful things and then this person was just like, oh hey, what pronouns do you use? And it was, it wasn't it wasn't like, you know, I knew them really well. It was just like some person that was taking my order at the Tatte on Boyleston and they were like, what pronouns do you use again? And I was like Oh, they/them. And I was just kind of like came so fluidly and I was like this is amazing. You know?

[00:05:54] Jasper: Yeah. They saw you.

[00:05:55] Dey: Yeah. I felt seen and heard and I just like, especially in the hustle and bustle of Boston and it was just kind of like, a wow that's crazy. I didn't know that that was an like an option, you know?

[00:06:07] Jasper: Yeah. Oh, kind of catches you off guard a little bit.

[00:06:11] Dey: Oh it definitely does. I think that there was so much that like, I didn't realize I was kind of like pushing it down like, keeping it underground you know? I didn't realize that there was that much that I was like just like what? Squish that! You know? But like I feel like there's a lot that, like now that I'm aware of it, I can be like, oh, hey, that was really nice, you know? Like makeup has been this huge like, whoa I get to do that and I'm not gonna look, be looked at weirdly, cause I'm just not gonna see those looks, you know? Like you get those like old old people that are like, eh you youngins wear an eyeliner when you shouldn't, you know? It's like screw you, you know I can wear eyeliner whenever I want and I can do my makeup and smudge it and look like a raccoon.

[00:06:55] Jasper: But a non-binary raccoon

[00:06:57] Dey: A non-binary raccoon, a Enby raccoon for the ages.

[00:07:02] Jasper: thats what we'll call your episode.

[00:07:05] Dey: Yes! Yes! Oh my God. I love that.

[00:07:08] Jasper: I don't think I've been asking people this question but I'm gonna ask you. Why is gender euphoria important?

[00:07:15] Dey: Oh... I think that it's like super important because like what else is there to balance out the bad you know? Like the good, like gender euphoria is this super term of bliss, like this, like top shelf like coveted, like, oh, you know? But I, I think that like sort of like being like realizing sometimes there's bad moments you know? Gender dysphoria, unfortunately. I feel like I was casting a spell, like, ah, you know, but like, there's like sort of like these bad moments where like you can't control what happens and something to like sort of balance that out is the good. I have very ADHD responses.

[00:07:56] Jasper: That's okay!

[00:07:57] Dey: Yeah.

[00:07:58] Jasper: I'm trying to think why I think it's important.

[00:08:00] Dey: Yeah. Why do you think it's important? I feel like...

[00:08:03] Jasper: So many reasons. Definitely what you like, what you said for sure. Because for the first bit of my gender journey like I only felt dysphoria an